Ah, Ecto-Cooler. That sweet, delicious, tangerine-orange, neon-green delight. Objectively the greatest juice box flavor of all time, Ecto-Cooler will not be making a return to coincide with the release of Ghostbusters: Afterlife for undisclosed reasons. However, we’re beginning to suspect that upper management at Hi-C may be rife with Gozer worshippers.
Hi-C discontinued Crazy Citrus Cooler, the rebooted name of Shoutin’ Orange Tangergreen, the rebooted name of Ecto-Cooler, in 2007 after an eighteen-year run. The beverage returned in 2016 for the release of the rebooted Ghostbusters movie, and while we still have many (now-undrinkable) cases of it stashed in our house, the juice was produced in a limited amount and was sold out by the end of the year.
With a new Ghostbusters film, set back in the same universe as the original two, many thirsty fans wondered whether Ecto-Cooler might return as well, but it didn’t, aside from reportedly as a promotional item for influencers at Ghostbusters Afterlife events, and let us tell you, never has the gap between the haves and the have-nots in this country been more pronounced or more unfair.
Adding insult to injury, Hi-C has now apparently taken to social media via a purportedly official new social media account (it isn’t verified, but the second follower of the account is a Coca-Cola executive and the Ecto-Cooler community seems to believe it’s real) to promote the drink it refuses to produce and sell to customers who want to buy it, posting a retro commercial for the drink while simultaneously noting that it won’t be available for purchase.
Fans of the long-lost beverage were not amused in the replies. “So, you have a product that EVERYONE wants, but you won’t sell it to them?” responded one Ecto-Cooler-less fan. “You’ve got people out here drinking thirty-year-old Hi-C because you’re busy playing around LOL,” said another. “#QuitHoldinOut”
Yet another wrote: “I’m still confused. What drop? Where is this drop?! Or is the commercial itself a Ghostbusters: Afterlife NFT? Regardless, I’ll be following because I need that in my life again, lol.”
“So you’re gonna send it to a bunch of influencer assholes?” wrote another. “Why can’t regular old people buy this product? You’ve known this film was coming for years. Ecto Cooler is so beloved that there’s a weed strain named after it. But you’d rather have ‘buzz’ than customers. So be it.”
So is Hi-C just rubbing it in fans’ noses that they can’t obtain the beloved beverage? Maybe. Or maybe not. The company w23issued the following statement:
So maybe, if we all jump through enough hoops, Hi-C will take pity on us and produce another batch of Ecto-Cooler. Or maybe we should all band together, storm the Hi-C headquarters, and seize the means of Ecto-Cooler production for ourselves! Of course, in this day and age, we suppose we have to point out that we are joking and in no way endorse the storming of Hi-C headquarters, even if they have our damn Ecto-Cooler and refuse to give it to us.
But what we can do is let them know that if they will produce more Ecto-Cooler, we will, once again, buy it by the caseload as soon as it’s available.